Its all about the exposure, the lens, I told her.
by theycallmejack
Hello, long time no blog.
Nearly a month of not blogging. I got all busy with Christmas stuff and Twitter and bowties and it all got a bit… confusing. And on top of that, I didn’t have much to discuss. Usually I do a bit of an end of year blog on here, but really, this year, with college and such, I’ve only really blogged about major events anyway, so most of what I’d say has already been documented…
2011 started crap, then got good, then really good, before sinking to crushingly terrible, before steadily climbing up and up and up, and then, having a bit of a shortfall over Christmas. I think that one sentence sums up my entire year. Made a few new friends, lost a few old friends; college drama – the usual.
Christmas itself was rubbish. I went away to Yorkshire with the family. Annoying doesn’t even begin to cover it. But when I got home on the 27th, things rapidly took a turn for the better with Mat, various parties, and other good shinanigans! And since then, things have been brilliant!
Anyway, so here’s something I was thinking about today in Ancient History. I’m sitting in my bedroom on my laptop writing a blog, and then its gonna get beamed through space and wires and stuff, and it’ll end up in a warehouse in a server somewhere. I don’t even know where WordPress’ servers are… but what if, in two and a half thousand years, someone finds that server, and then this very blog is the subject of conversation for some scholarly chaps somewhere, like those diaries they find from Ancient Romans. Slim chance I know, and very little for scholarly debate over, but its an odd thought… if anyone in the future does read this; hi!
Here’s another thought from me; friendship. Its so confusing. Especially at my age. Aristotle reckoned there were 3 kinds of friendship:
- Friendship for utility – Being friends with someone because its mutually useful.
- Friendship for pleasure – Being friends with someone because you enjoy someone for having the same interests as you etc.
- Friendship for friendship’s sake – Thought to be the strongest type of friendship because its loving someone for who they are, not for any reason other than that.
I read about those a while ago, and I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately because of various reshufflings in the state of my friendship groups.
Near as I can tell, a lot of people at college are friends simply for political reasons; if one person is particularly popular then it makes sense to stay close with them as you become popular by association, and falling out with that person, even if they are particularly nasty and you can clearly see this, is something which must be avoided at all costs. Also, the way people are ‘civil’ to those they dislike is part of the same family; a lot of people I know take this approach with their social lives, and frankly, I’ve never understood it… I don’t see why it benefits anyone to act as if you’re friends with someone when actually both you and they know that you don’t like them. I suppose maybe people don’t want to be seen to be unreasonable or bitchy for disliking the people they dislike? I certainly don’t think I’m above behaving like this, and I don’t think I can think of a single person who doesn’t behave in much the same way…
Then friendship for pleasure. I don’t think I have any friends who are my friends only because I share mutual interests with them, because mostly, I like being able to talk about loads of stuff with my mates, rather than just one or two specific subject areas.
The last one is the one I like most. I think me and Aristotle have something in common with thinking thats the strongest kind of friendship. If I really think hard about it, probably only a handful of my friends fall into that last category. I know without even having to think about it which those people are.
And another thing you need to take into account is random chance. Of course it isn’t actually random, but it seems random sometimes… like, one day everyone is disliking one person, and then someone thinks about it and they decide to forgive this one person on a whim, and if you don’t keep up with that rapid change in liking/disliking, then you can end up on the recieving end of the distaste which was once being heaped at another person… and then linked into that is friendship loyalty, if your friend hates someone then more than likely you’ll come to have that view as well. Confusing times.
The problem is that the word ‘friend’ is so ill-defined. I’m pretty sure that no one would ever say that a ‘Facebook friend’ is the same as a ‘real life friend’. What even constitutes a friend? My Gran says that she hates most of her ‘friends’, and yet you see people who claim to ‘love’ all of their friends, do Facebook friends count in that? And then what about people who claim to be friends, and then spend such a lot of time bitching about someone behind their back, and are as nice as pie to their faces?!
I suppose, at my age, when at college and surrounded by loads of different people everyday ‘friendship’ is easier to come by, all in all though, I think its mainly a case of sorting the wheat from the chaff and then you can grow up and fly away from the chaff and take the wheat with you. And then make some bread with it. Don’t bake your friends though… or eat them… or put them out for the birds…
Well I think I’ve got that knot of disjointed and complicated thoughts out of my head for the time being, so I’ll draw this to a close here… And before I go, here’s a picture highlighting how unusual and bizarre friendship can be…
What are everyone elses thoughts on the subject?
Jack out.
I read your blog entry on the topic of friendship with some interest this evening while I was catching up on my Doctor Who. Yeah, I’m a total sci-fi geek.
Aristotle was a brilliant guy. However, I do have some contrasting ideas.
Friendships of Utility – This is not friendship at all. This sounds more like using someone for a skill or resource they possess. At best the point could be streteched to say that this may actually describe a relationship such as colleague or collaborator .
Friendships of pleasure – I can certainly buy that we have friendships that initially form because of common interests…but something more is required for the friendship to stay and develop. The common interest merely provides the gateway to find out if that something more is there. Believe me, I’ve known plenty of people who share common interests with me but whom I cannot tolerate. Having a common interest is not enough.
Friendship for friendship’s sake – I do think this is the purest definition of friendship. In addition to friendships that exist for friendships sake for loving who they are – how about those friendships that people have in spite of who they are?